What happens when longing takes hold and won’t let go? When the need for connection becomes obsession, and fantasy begins to blur with reality?
This book explores limerence, a complex and often misunderstood psychological state marked by intrusive thoughts, emotional dependency, and an intense longing for reciprocation. What begins as attraction can quickly spiral into fixation, projection, and the gradual unravelling of the self.
The author weaves together insights from psychology, neuroscience, mythology, and cultural analysis to examine limerence through clinical, emotional, symbolic, digital, spiritual, and relational lenses. Drawing on case studies, archetypal patterns, and original diagnostic frameworks, it reveals limerence as both a source of profound suffering and a window into deeper psychological truths.
For therapists, clinicians, and curious readers alike, this is a nuanced exploration of obsessive love and the psychological complexities that shape it.
Introduction Limerence in Context: A Passionate Madness
1. The First Taste of Love: Forming Attachment
2. The Beginning of Suffering: Maladaptive Developmental Attachment
3. How Do I Love Thee?: Archetypes of Limerence
4. You Make Me Feel So High: The Neurochemistry of Limerence
5. I Love You So Much It Hurts: Longing and Compulsion
6. I Can’t Stop Thinking About You: Obsessive Thoughts
7. The Things I’d Like to Do with You: Daydreaming and Fantasy
8. Tell Me You Love Me: Mutual, Unexpressed and Unrequited Limerence
9. I’m Not Supposed to Love You: Cultural and Ethical Condemnation
10. Take This Longing from my Tongue: Limerence in Art, Literature, Music and Film
11. It Feels so Real: Limerence in the Digital Age
12. I’m Crazy for You: Limerence and Psychopathology
13. Please Make it Stop: Treatment and Recovery
14. How Can I Help?: Supporting People with Limerence
15. Conclusion Where Do We Go from Here?
Biography
Orly Miller is a psychologist and writer whose work explores the terrain of obsessive love, emotional attachment, and longing. Drawing on clinical practice, mythology, and cultural critique, she brings a unique lens to limerence, blending therapeutic insight with literary and symbolic analysis.
'This adventurous, compassionate book wakes us up to the experience of limerence. With myths, real-life cases, and timely insight into digital limerence, Orly Miller offers practical guidance for both clinicians and individuals, and beautifully shows that healing is possible.'
Lucy L. Brown, PhD, neuroscientist, Albert Einstein College of Medicine
'Orly Miller offers a fresh new perspective on the commonly occurring but often misunderstood experience of limerence. Her work is both incisive and holistic, making it a powerful read for therapists and laypeople alike. If you are looking for an analytic deep dive into the world of intense longing, this book is for you.'
Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, adjunct professor at Northwestern University, bestselling author of Love Every Day, and host of the podcast, Reimagining Love
